come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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