Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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