I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
need another drink. this is the easiest way
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
