I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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