Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
