You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
