my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize