Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
my liver is dry heaving
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
