So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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