I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
