Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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