Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
