Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
