roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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