I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
