We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
