I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
