I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
