I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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