you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
