Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
