you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
