1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
