Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
