If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
