So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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