my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
