the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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