I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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