Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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