Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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