he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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