He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?