Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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(785): View more from Kansas

a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

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(727): View more from Florida

If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde

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(248): View more from Michigan

Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.

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