watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.