Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
