Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
