We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
