She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
