Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
