But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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