I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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