so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
