What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
