we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
