My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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