She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
