ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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