You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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