We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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