Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
