remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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