In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
