Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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