After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
