I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
