where am i from again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
