Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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