Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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