don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
