There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
