Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize