they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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