i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.