i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.