So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.