she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
