the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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