im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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