Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
